How is your identity formed? | Identity 101 Series: Part 2

how did you become who you are today in

this video we are going to explore the

topic of how our identity is formed

hello and welcome to part 2 of my video

series identity 101 where I talk about

identity what it is how it is formed how

to find it and how self-acceptance and

choosing who you want to be gives you

power over insecurities in this video

I'm going to cover a few key factors

that affect the formation of your

identity and then in the second part of

the video I'm going to be going through

a journaling exercise that will help you

to think back and take a look at your

life and see what factors and what key

influences did you have that affected

your identity during your growing up

years three groups of people and your

interactions with them while you were

growing up play a huge part in how your

identity was formed the first group is

parents or guardians the second someone

you looked up to who spoke into your

life such as a teacher or a coach

thirdly your peers friends schoolmates

and siblings these different influences

during our childhood years affect our

beliefs about ourselves I want to share

an example from my own life growing up I

was blessed to have a dad who was very

engaged in my upbringing he provided

security and he definitely influenced

the way I think about myself and how I

faced the world today I remember a time

where I wanted to do an espresso stand

for a local youth fair the fair had

given each kid in the entrepreneurship

class a booth for the day to run their

own businesses and sell their own

products having had a small commercial

espresso machine at home another story

for another time I thought why not bring

that espresso machine to the fair and

sell drinks for my booth well easier

said than done right it turned out to be

quite a project but my dad had a can-do

attitude and he helped me get them

machine setup for use it took some

creativity and ingenuity but eventually

we got everything working we had to

create a special water source just for

the espresso machine as well as find

power with enough amperage to run it dad

figured it all out and made that dream

and goal of mine a reality some beliefs

about myself that I take away from this

experience one is I can do anything if I

put my mind to it

another is family is there for me and

can help my dreams become a reality

lastly I am valuable enough to have

someone invest their time and energy

into me that's actually really powerful

all this came from one story in one

situation from my childhood and it shows

you the power of one important person in

your growing up years

the next thing after talking about the

three groups of people I mentioned

earlier are two more factors highs and

lows highs are things that could be big

wins victories championships special

trips and other high moments in our

growing up years on the positive side

success and victories can enforce our

sense of value and self-worth on the

negative side they can also inflate our

ego and cause us to be performance

driven which could look like

crowd-pleasing and trying to earn love

from others based on our achievements

the lows could be things like trauma

abuse grief and loss disappointments

divorce and bullying it's beyond the

scope of this video to dive into the

solutions for each of these lows but

it's important to know that these

factors can play a significant part in

the way that we view ourselves and the

world around us the good news is that

the negative side effects of these

issues don't have to be permanent in our

and there's a path to healing and


I'd suggest you reach out to a mentor of

yours or find a professional you can

talk to and begin to explore and

untangle the effects of these lows for

today I'd love for all of you watching

to take a moment to look back and assess

who were the key influences in your

childhood and how do they affect your

identity I have an exercise for you for

this you're gonna want to grab a journal

a blank piece of paper or open up a

blank document on your computer so that

you could take some notes let's take a

look at your past your childhood and the

relationships that you had as you were

growing up I have a few questions as

prompts for you but really this time is

for you to reflect back and think and

write out what comes to mind as I go

through this exercise feel free to pause

the video after each journaling prompt

that way you have time to complete the

question before moving on to the next

one first off who were people that had a

significant impact on your identity and

sense of self was there a parent or

guardian that made an impact what

positive beliefs about yourself did you

learn from them did you learn any

negative beliefs about yourself from

them secondly how about a teacher or

coach who were they what impact did they

have on you what did you learn from them

and what beliefs about yourself did you

learn from them lastly who were some

friends or siblings that made a positive

impact on you what did you learn from

them and what beliefs about yourself did

you learn from them for the next part of

this exercise we are going to look at

the highs and lows looking back at the

highs and lows of your life list out

what those things were so under highs

list out those high moments that stick

out to you and for lows list out those

low moments or negative low situations

that you experienced next are there any

other pivotal moments you remember what

impact that they have on your beliefs

about your

self I have two more questions for you

in this exercise the first is what

takeaways are aha moments or discoveries

did you make during this journaling

exercise and the second one is what

action steps if any do you need to take

so write those down we are coming to the

end of this video but before we finish I

would love for you to post in the

comments below any aha moments that you

have okay friends that wraps up today's

video I hope you found it helpful be

sure to subscribe and hit the

notification belt to be notified when I

release the next video in this series

identity 101 I will see you in the next

one bye