it

"Is 40 Too Late To Start Over After A Divorce?"

what's going on everybody it is coach

Greg Adams and I'm back in here with the

ask coach Greg Adams Channel shout out

to the coach gang guy appreciate you for

being here and check out my two books

the evolution and the fridge lifestyle

the links are in the description box

below and this question comes from D W

and he says hey coach its DW I just

turned 40 years old and I'm recently

divorced I have no children or child

support is it too late to start over

alright this is a great question and I

appreciate you asking this question

because sometimes as men when we pretty

much quit on our lives when we don't

pursue the goals that we want to pursue

when we put all of our interests and

validation into marriage and women and

we use that validation to prop ourselves

up all right

people think that that's going to give

you meaning in life but oftentimes those

are the things that give you clarity

when they don't work out so here's the

real situation here

most men they get to this point in their

lives they have a failed relationship or

a marriage and they look at their lives

and go dang I'm a failure it's gonna be

difficult

I had to lose my house my car my kids or

whatever it is and it's going to be too

late for me and I often talked about

this with great divorces alright for men

in their 50s and they get divorced it's

going to be difficult for them to

recover financially this is why you want

to look at your current marriage and go

is it really worth it to stay or am I

gonna risk going ahead and then really

losing my rear end but men who get

divorced well into their late 30s and

40s get a significant gift this gift you

might as well send your ex-wife a

present because she just gave you the

gift of time she gave you the gift of

the fact that you are now act

approaching all right depending on if

you are good mentally stable if you took

care of your body you're entering the

approach to your peak sexual Marketplace

value you're at the beginning so you

just turned 40

most men are entering their peak right

around 35 now don't talk about the high

school football jock and you as a

basketball player and you could dunk

basketball yeah you you were the rare

few most men don't hit their peak well

until age 35 going into 40 and they

maintain that peak some at age 55 okay

they're that old silver fox they're

their old guy he's bald and he's got

that nice debonair gray beard he has

experience in life young women look at

him for guidance and they look at him

they feel comfortable around him so a

lot of men enter that at this particular

age now you're saying is it too late to

start over let me tell you a little

story about myself now I got divorced

around the age of 35 36 and right before

that divorce it was at the time where I

was like I don't want to blow up this

relationship I wanna I don't want it to

affect the kids I'm just going to ride

it out until they're 18 and I hope that

the relationship gets better I hope that

she comes to her senses I hope that she

stops getting bent over at work in the

storage closet by Chad or Tyrone see

those were the decisions that I make and

the decision that I made was I'm ready

to die that's basically it I didn't see

any future anything that I thought into

the future was always black and white

there was never no color to it all right

now when I decided to leave all right I

left with absolutely nothing all right I

left with nothing I started my life over

I left whatever I whatever we built

together I left it over there

dining-room tables furniture all right

all that kitchen supplies all that stuff

I was like I'll start my whole damn life

over and it looked bleak for the first

six months but I remember leaving that

house when I packed up my truck with

whatever I had left clothes I left and I

never saw the sky is blue I never saw

the grass is greener the Sun was yellow

and popping and my future was now

possible see when I was in a

relationship there was no possibility

all it was was dark and dank and great

and black that's all I saw and I was

just trying to survive and keep my head

above water now once I left and I took

it upon myself to do that I knew that

there was a future for me and I knew I

can recreate my life

see that's the advantage of me

and this is what the court system knows

they know it's cheaper to be a man they

know that men can recreate their lives

in a relatively short amount of time

without interference from their ex and

this is why we gotta pay women all right

this is why we got to pay women

oftentimes in the Family Court because

it's difficult for them to recover their

lives and most of the time by the time

they hit this divorce when they go crazy

around age 35 or 40 and they start

divorcing their husbands they don't

realize they got to live the next 40

years by themselves but often times and

somebody Schramm riding them and blowing

their back out telling them oh just come

over to me and I'll take care of you

what those relationships don't normally

last and then they come crawling back to

the husband going oh I messed up so

anyway I just got off subject there

here's the reality of the deal you can

recreate your life if your ex is not

interfering with you you don't have kids

and probably a year and a half to two

years okay start off solo go to Ikea get

some silverware all right start off slow

a lot of people will start donating you

find furniture when people are moving

out of your apartment complex and you

see them looking stuff by the trash can

run back out there and get it put it in

your house and you live like that for

two or three years then at that point

you stack your money you take yourself

off the dating landscape because another

mistake that guys make is they try to

find someone to prove that they can

they're valuable on the marketplace so

they can prove to their ex that they got

somebody else to fill or spot and so you

want to get a girlfriend real fast and

once you do that you're gonna prohibit

yourself from recovering okay because

all your resources are going to go to

that woman and that woman's sole purpose

is to be there as a rebound to show your

ex-wife that you've got somebody else or

you're going to your horror phase where

you go on and tinder and pill plenty of

fish and you ramrod and you have women

come over and do monkey double backflips

on the regular so you can feel good you

can fill that hole in your system you

can say see I can go out there and get

women well by doing that you're not

investing into yourself so go slay a

couple of piece ladies out there go slay

it feel good about yourself bust nuts or

whoever you need to bust on and then at

the end of the day get back on your

purpose in your grind of rebuilding your

life it's a relatively simple thing to

do but the dump things that

men do as they try to live the blue pill

beta mind or they live the a woman

validates B mindset and it totally

delays their recovery and sooner or

later your cohabitating sooner or later

you're buying furniture together with

another woman sooner or later you're

moving her children into your house and

then guess what you're in the exact same

position that you were in two years ago

okay and then you're gonna be in the

exact same situation at the end of your

marriage five years later because office

certainly is not gonna work out second

marriages have a horrible percentage in

terms of the success so then you get

divorced twice all right and now you

paying child support for her kids not

yours or you're paying for their kids to

go to college and then she divorces you

guys it's very simple you just got to

change your mindset and I know some

people will say no you need to go out

there and get these women you need them

to battle dig them you need to recover

and you need the love you don't need

none of that right now

you need to focus on yourself you need

to get your money right you need to

rebuild your life you need to get your

confidence back okay you need to get

your confidence back and I know

sometimes women can give you that

confidence when you're running up inside

of them and you're pushing their insides

all the way to esophagus right you can

get that confidence but that's false

confidence it's gonna feel good for you

for 30 seconds you're gonna feel

fantastic but then you're gonna look

around in your surroundings you're gonna

look at your studio apartment 400 square

feet wondering why you barely have

furniture three years later you're gonna

be in the same spot okay

chase in peace leave but if you do that

for about two or three months and you

get some bearings about yourself and did

you go back out there you build your

life for T is the best possible years

for men all right this is your Super

Bowl you didn't read my book did you

read the D evolution book 40 is your

Super Bowl you are now in the game

you're now positioning yourself to win

and the reality is the next 15 years of

your life is going to be a winning

proposition if you do the right thing if

you get married if you get into a

long-term relationship if you cohabitate

it's going to destroy your life

I don't care if the relationship is a

success it's going to ultimately destroy

you because if it doesn't work out and

she dumps you 15 years later ten years

later you got start over again and at

that point you'll be asking me is it too

late to start over at 50 yeah you're

probably got problems now okay that's my

video for today shoutout to the coach

gang and I'll be back with more videos

and I'm out peace