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How Do You Know When It's Time to put Your Parent in a Nursing Home? | Help Me Help Momma

hi this is Doug in Sydney with help me

help mama five cast this is a program

where we answer your questions thanks

for joining in today and today we've got

a great question which is when is it

time to put a parent in a nursing home

so that's a big question there's a lot

of things involved so we thought we

would just give you a few examples of

where people we know made the decision

yeah we've got to put mom or dad in a

nursing home so that's one example okay

so one example is when there is a sudden

health event and you haven't planned for

that for example your mom had a stroke

yeah mom in my example mom had a surgery

she had after surgery she had a stroke

and it was a severe stroke it just wiped

out a portion of her brain and we knew

that day immediately that if she lived

which she did for the next two years she

would have to have more intensive help

and so she had to be in a nursing home

another example might be where again you

know there may be a slight change in

health with for your loved one maybe say

they're in assisted living and something

happens and yay

you haven't really planned for it to

provide care full time and you're still

working and you can't quit your job

right now so they may need to transition

from a level of care like assisted

living into skilled care so that's

another time some assisted livings have

standards depending on the state

regulations and I guess the procedures

that assisted living a nurse told me the

other day one assisted living in their

facility when the resident could no

longer stand pivot or transfer then they

had to go to nursing home so another

example would be we've seen situations

where maybe wife is caring for a husband

at home his Alzheimer's progressively

gets worse and he becomes violent and

she just afraid you know afraid that

maybe he's threatened her or

he's actually hit her and she just

afraid and she can't care for him any

longer

and maybe the kids live out of town

she's it so he's got to go to nursing

yes once it became once I become violent

if they have Alzheimer's then you really

need to look at at the extra help of a

skilled care facility another example

might be where there is a caregiver in

the home say with mom and dad and who's

caring for both of them well part of

your plan needs to be to give that

caregiver a break because I've seen it

where the caregiver just hit the wall

and said I can't do it anymore

can't and then if if you don't have

enough money to pay for private duty

in-home non medical care for two people

then a skilled care may be the option

so another the caregiver quits or moves

or leaves or whatever part or dies or

burns out yeah well then then it's a lot

of times it's plan B another situation

we've seen a lot where maybe it's a

family caregiver like a son or daughter

providing care for mom or dad and son or

daughter's got to work you know when it

journey stop one maybe it's okay where

the caregivers are stopping by you know

helping mom or dad get breakfast

together take their meds you know 1 to 3

hours per day in and all of a sudden mom

or dad gets worse and now the sudden

it's 3 to 6 hours per day and then it's

starting to be closer to the 6 hour mark

and the caregivers not even getting to

see their own family yeah it gets to the

point where some serious decisions have

to be made do we do equip my job do we

bring in a lot of extra outside care $20

an hour you know their family members

health or in some cases answered above

all of those above things no and then

nursing home is the option absolutely so

your situation may be different than all

of these that we discussed but when it

gets to the point where safety is an

issue you cannot take take care of your

loved one like they need to be taken

care of a nursing home might be a good

option for you yeah and it is a personal

situation sometime

money is the issue unfortunately now in

some states check with your state some

states have a waiver program where you

know some money's available in some

cases to pay for in-home care in some

states that's not the case and in-home

care is very expensive 20 bucks an hour

so and if you got to have a lot of it

the cost of st. at home can be more than

a nursing home so sometimes this is a

factor but and there also may be

veterans benefits available if your

loved one was a veteran or the widow of

a veteran and they meet the

qualifications so that's a lot of

options yeah hope this information helps

hope you're having a great day thanks

for joining us today thank you for being

a caregiver for your loved one you're

making a huge difference in their life

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