Moving Your Parent's Into Assisted Living or a Nursing Home? Here Is What To Do

hey what's going on guys john shea here

from the no shame income blog

and today i've actually got an

interesting topic i wanted to talk about

and this is really just come to light in

an idea of mine i wanted to create this

video because

really over the last probably about

three to four weeks i've had to spend a

significant amount of time

looking into helping both of my parents

move into an assisted living home

so this is something that i wanted to

really kind of cover

for those of you who might be you know

trying to learn more about this like

what do you do

when it comes time to actually move your

parents into a place and how do you

take over their finances how do you you

know do all the things that need to be

done so i had to spend a lot of time

over the last several weeks literally

figuring out all these things from


talking with family members lawyers

doctors and just

trying to understand what is the next

best move for all of this so

i actually organized a lot of this into

some documents and i've decided to make

some blank templates

that i want to walk you guys through

today in this video kind of give you a

full walk through of everything that you

might need to know

when it comes time to move your family

into a nursing home or an assisted

living facility

and you are the one that's going to be

taking over their finances and really


helping them you know as they kind of

progress in life right

this is something that for many of us

we're all going to have to deal with at

some point and i thought

hey why not create a video about this

share some insight around what i'm doing

what's working for me and

give you guys an idea of how much time

i've had to dedicate to doing some of

these things

and help you guys organize a lot of

these things for those of you who may

not know

you know what is it that i need to do to

actually be able to accomplish

some of these things in my case um

unfortunately my father

came diagnosed with alzheimer's disease

about four years ago we started to

really see symptoms

and year after year the disease has

progressively gotten worse

my father used to be someone that would

do with the taxes every year he was

paying all the bills

he was the guy that would go out and run

a lot of the errands for the household

and while my mother was working and

supporting the family she was never

really the

go-to person to do a lot of this so i

think what's really happened in my

family because of my father's symptoms

this is something that has definitely

progressed quite a bit and i've actually

needed to come in

and kind of take over a lot of things

that weren't being done so

i'm really creating this video as a way

to help you know those of you who

maybe could end up in a situation like

this one day if you have a family member

or a parent

that ends up in a situation where they

could have something like this

or be in a state where they just cannot

take care of themselves any longer

this should help you um you know with

that whole process

so with that being said if you guys are

new to the channel again most of the

videos i create are usually about

generating income

but i am trying to do things around

finances and just general life

lifestyle videos things that i'm dealing

with in my own life and trying to share

things that are actually helpful for


so be sure to throw me a thumbs up on

the video if you guys like this content

and don't forget to subscribe like this


and if you want to leave a comment below

feel free to ask questions on anything

that i talk about in today's video so

with that all being said

let's jump over to my desktop and i'm

going to walk you guys through

kind of a plan i put together for doing

all this

all right so we're over my desktop and

as i mentioned

you know there was a kind of a strategic

way i wanted to go about planning all of


and again i wanted to be as helpful as

possible but i've decided to

you know remove a lot of things

obviously from these documents because

really for privacy reasons and just so

i'm not giving you guys literally the

full story of everything that's going on

but you're gonna have enough walking

away from this video that you should


you know here are some things that i

need to be looking out for when it comes


that you actually have to take over for

you know your own parents financial

situation or their living situation

whatever it may be

so the way that i broke this down and to

give a little bit more background

i had actually had a good friend of my

mother's that had known me since i was

literally a little baby

was working with my mother to help pay

off debts um

get more in control of some different

things that just hadn't been getting

taken care of

and she had actually hit a point where

she kind of hit a wall

and it said you know what i really need

to bring john into this and get him more


so i actually went and sat down with her

and met with her she had quite a bit of

notes of different things that were

going on and

you know you probably wouldn't really

think about this in reality but if you

look at someone else's life

and you're picking up potentially years

of everything that's been going on from

all the different bills and services and

any debts that may be incurred uh

financial money that's been stored away

there's a lot that really comes into

play with all this

so i decided to first make kind of a

generalized list

and prioritize this from what's most

important to

kind of least important and eventually

what i ended up doing is actually

creating more of a to-do list and i'll

show you that next

where i break down all the different

things that i need to do and

track all of them so i know what's going

on what's been completed

and if i need to reference things like

phone numbers or notes then i'd be able

to have that at my disposal

so the very first thing uh when it comes

to you know really taking over your


situation here with moving and just


is you're going to need to meet with a

lawyer and you're going to have to get

what's called a

power of attorney so i kept some of my

brief notes here

when i spoke with my mother's friend

when we initially started talking about

all this realizing that this was

something we needed to do and i said hey

i need to meet with a lawyer in person

we need to discuss what's called the

power of attorney what this would do

is basically allow me to take control of

all their finances and i'm going to

show you guys a little sample of the

first page of what this looks like

so you can see here's one that i

photocopied it basically says that

my mother of this town appoints me to be

as my lawful attorney to act for me in

my name and then some of the examples of

things that i could do could be

investing or reinvesting in stocks

borrowing money

endorsing transfers of certificates of

stock represent

me and vote in my name basically i'm

able to take over and act as an entity

on behalf of my mother and my father

with this power of attorney and in this

case i got a durable power of attorney

now again i'm not a lawyer so i can't

recommend to you whether or not you need


get a durable power of attorney or just

a general power of attorney but

or even doing this at all in general but

definitely what you're going to want to

do is speak with an elder care attorney

about all of this

and this is going to basically allow you

to have permissions to handle a lot of

these things without your parents being

involved so very very important

the next part of all this was figuring

out what was going on with taxes

in my parents case there was some laughs

on when they had actually last paid


so i had to come in and kind of make a

list of all the things that i needed

and the easiest way to approach this is

to just kind of make a list of the

generalized things that they're looking


and in my cases you know in my case both

of my parents are on social security

and my father receives a teacher's

pension so i was looking for social

security w-2s or 1099s

looking for what's called the 1099g

which was something you would get from


year refunds any other 1099s like i have

this is a social security one

any interest 1099s like if they were

accumulating interest from

banks or savings accounts things like

that my father because he's retired

as a school teacher he would actually

get what's called this 1099-r

and that might not be applicable to your

scenario but as well as looking at

mortgage interest statements

um and just looking for anything in

terms of like potential refunds

now in my case i thought that i was

actually going to have to call the irs

and potentially wait on hold for what

possibly could be hours

but in my case what i ended up doing is

actually going and calling um

specifically social security

and also calling my my father's

teachers pension association and i was

able to have them

get a copy of the power of attorney once

they had that

i was able to then move forward by

getting printed out versions that they

would then mail

to my parents address that they had on

file so that i'd have

all that information and this of course

is only necessary

if this documentation was lost or was

just never filed

so let's say you're looking for tax

documents from a year ago

um you might be in a scenario where you

just simply can't find them

and this is going to be one of the only

ways you can get them so

that's a big thing obviously you do want

to make sure you take care of any taxes

or things like that

and that that is one of the biggest

priorities that you take care of before

anything else

the next thing that i decided to do was

actually meet with my father's doctor

as well as my mother's doctor and just

get a full update on

everything that's kind of going on based

on what they've done in terms of what


are they prescribing what do they

recommend do they believe that

it's time for them to say move into an

assisted living facility

what is kind of the overall outcome of

you know where they see things

moving forward and also making sure that

they also have power of attorney


so that i never have an issue when it

comes to speaking with them if i wanted

to call

and talk to the doctor on my own without

my parents being there

i would have the ability to do that

without any restrictions i also wanted

to look into healthcare figure out

what exactly are they on for health

insurance and also determining if your

parents are over 65 which if you're

looking into this

they most likely are is that do you have

do they have healthcare through medicare

and typically the way that this works is

medicare covers a portion

of anything that's done for any kind of

medical service

doctor's visits and anything that

medicare does not cover

will then get moved into a secondary

provider and in this case

my father and mother had what's called

harvard pilgrim health care

so if they went to a doctor's visit and

something was not covered under medicare

or only a portion of it was covered

under medicare harvard pilgrim would

pick up the remainder of that bill

and then they would be left with

whatever's owed as a copay so this is

all stuff that you definitely want to

get your head wrapped around

in my case as well i live in

massachusetts and they have what's

called mass health

your state it's obviously going to vary

but you may want to look into

you know what's available there and

depending on what you have from state to

state you know in my case

my parents would not have qualified for

this because of the assets and financial

um you know funds that they have saved

so medicare and the other

insurance that they do get is basically

the coverage that they have

the next thing i wanted to look at was

their living situation right so in my


my parents about six years ago had

downgraded from a fairly large size like

four bedroom two bath home

to a smaller town home that was like


probably 1300 to 1400 square feet had

two bedrooms

actually three bathrooms very oddly but

it was a nicer unit

just not as big not as much maintenance

and i realized even living in that home

they weren't able to keep up because of

the the state that they were getting

into as they got older

they weren't able to keep up with the

maintenance and just all the things

needed so

really you've got a few different

options in terms of living you can look


senior housing which is something

usually provided to a specific city

generally it's considered independent

living and in most cases for

someone that might be battling something

like alzheimer's that probably isn't

going to be ultimately where you want to


i did find when looking at senior

housing options many of them had

extensive waitlists one of them even

told me there was a four

year wait list just to get into the

senior housing but beyond that you're

really looking at one of a few

other options and that would be a

nursing home that's

really the highest end of where you're

going to need you need someone that

is basically tending to your parent or


for 24 7 this is something where it's

going to take a lot of time

commitment and generally these are going

to be the most expensive options

the next option down is assisted living

facilities and most of these facilities

do not have any coverage through health


basically this is all out of pocket pay

and the options that i looked at we

looked at about four of these i did two

up where i live and then two where i

used to live in a smaller city about 45


from where i'm living now and all of

them really start around the same range

of costs you're looking at probably


4 500 a month on the low end

and something on that very very low end

is going to be like a studio it's

literally like a small

hotel room and in general you could be

sharing things like maybe you've got a


mini fridge or a sink like out in a

hallway with another unit that could be

adjacent to you

most of the units although generally

would be starting around

six thousand dollars a month that was

kind of the the general

area of where you'd find these to be

priced at and then in addition to that

to have

a family um you know spouse move in with

them so in this case

if my father was there and getting the

base fee let's say the let's say it was

fifty eight hundred 800

in addition to having my mother come in

and live with him in that same unit

they would charge anywhere from 500

upwards of 1700

in additional um to have them move in as

a second person

now the assisted living facilities

generally worked in a few

a couple different ways you have the

opportunity where

they could be basically offering you

your cleaning

you're um doing all your laundry they're

feeding you every day they have like an

area that you go into like a restaurant

you order food every day

and that was essentially what you're

getting it's like all inclusive

and that was kind of the base level you

then can kind of move up to a second

level where they start to add hours

and those hours can go towards other

things that dedicate you know a lot more

time and commitment to helping people

so this could be help with like bathing

showering you know

making sure that they're getting dressed

properly things that are going to off

you know require more time commitment

usually the base level of most of these

facilities would offer that for about

five hours

and then if you went over that five hour

limit you would actually have to pay

um potentially even like per the minute

one place wanted like 60 something cents

per minute

and in a lot of cases many of them have

an option where you could go up to like

20 hours in a given

week or in a given month and that's

where you know they're really getting a

lot more care and monitoring

the other thing with the assisted living

facilities is in many cases it was one

of two living scenarios where

people are kind of free to roam they're

more independent they could leave the

building at any time if they wanted to

walk out at 10 o'clock

and go drive down the street somewhere

they have that option but

many of the units also have what's

called a memory care unit

so what the memory care unit does that's

different is that they have a padlock

door with a special passcode and people

cannot just freely come and go as they


and this is really more for people that

might be in a situation with dementia

or alzheimer's where you know they don't

want people just getting up in the

middle of the night like walking out the

front of the front door of the building

or roaming around and like knocking on

people's doors

because they're just unaware of their

surroundings and what's going on so this

was probably one of the biggest things

is really determining between those

levels but the memory care

generally ranges even more in cost and

starts closer to between

eight and nine thousand dollars a month

now if you consider nursing homes as

the the next level above that um and

you're getting more 24 7 care

i believe those can range anywhere from

ten thousand upwards of thirty thousand

dollars a month

the difference between these two is that

nursing homes depending on your

financial situation

can have some coverage through um health


but most likely this isn't going to kick

in unless you literally have

no assets left any savings at all and

maybe the house is just completely gone


sold off and literally there's no money

left to be had whatsoever

the other option on all this would be

independent living facilities so

i found a place and this is actually the

option that i went with where both my

mother and father

are going to be living in basically an

independent living boarding house

so it's basically like almost like a

small mansion where they only have

up to six people six elderly people that

live there and then there's two people

that live there 24 7 on the upstairs

portion of the

of the building that do all their

cleaning laundry and they cook all their


they do not do things like helping them

with bathing showering medications you


helping them get dressed all these other

things where they may need a lot more

extra intensive care it's mostly just

helping them with meals and making sure

that they're living in a clean

environment their laundry is being done

on a consistent basis

now if you wanted to go this option the

way that i've looked at this is that i

could have a

nurse an in-home nurse coming in to help

with those things such as getting


or taking showers and that's really

where some of this stuff starts to

potentially add up

but ultimately may end up being less

money than what you might pay for an

assisted living facility the downside of


independent living facilities though is

that they don't have like regular


um there's less socialization obviously

with their only being

six people give or take maybe living in

a building like this

you're not going to have the same kind

of interactions or social

environment that you might an assisted

living facility where there could be

over 50 tenants and then of course

um it could be potentially over 20

employees working throughout one of

these larger buildings

so these are just things to kind of

weigh out and i wanted to give you guys

all these options to think about

the next thing that i wanted to tackle

and in my case my parents still had

some debt that needed to be taken care

of so

in this case they had a personal loan

that we needed to get rid of from one of

their banks

we had money that was owed on a car

we obviously still owed money on a

mortgage from the house that they're

living in

my mother had purchased hearing aids a

few years ago and those were still being

paid on monthly payments

and there were various credit cards that

still needed to be paid off as well

so you really need to kind of figure out

what are all the debts that they still

have remaining if any at all

and figure out what still needs to be

paid off and

ultimately what you're going to have to

do is call up these financial


and tell them hey i have the power of

attorney what is the process

for getting this to you usually they're

going to tell you one of three options

you're going to have to

either fax it into them which in my case

i have a pdf copy of it so i could send


there are some free online services that

you can look at for

sending um faxes for free some of them

might put like a watermark but that's

probably going to be your best bet

i did find one service that lets me send

up to like 10 pages for free and then

you have to pay for it after that

but generally that would be the way to

go and some of the institutions i

physically had to go into a branch in

one case like a bank that they had a

credit card with

i had to physically go sit down with

them and give them the paperwork in


and in most cases most of the companies

will provide you with an

email and if you have a scanner you

could make copies of that power of


and just send them an email like the one

that i showed you and then

immediately they'll be willing to talk

with you and kind of move forward on

everything that needs to happen

now in my case um because i'm selling

their home i also had to go through

lots of papers and just things that

maybe were lingering around

that hadn't been taken care of and

partly this was due to the dementia and

alzheimer's symptoms

things that just maybe weren't being

taken care of so what i decided to do is

look through

literally every single shred of paper

that i could find in their house

i even found um my old receipt from the

sega genesis that my parents bought for


in 1993. that's literally how far back i

was going

going through every single piece of

paper that i could find just lingering

around in drawers

desks anything that may be lingering

around depending on

how your parents are organizational wise

my parents just so happen to not be the

most organized people so they

had a lot of papers all over the place

so i had to go through and just sit here

sifting through every single document

making sure you know is this something

that needs to be shredded is this

something that i need to save

and just going through all this now in

my case i found some unpaid parking


i found that they had an upcoming excise

tax bill for their car

um i had a toll bill from a toll from

2017 that just

you know got like left behind that was

eight dollars that turned into a hundred

dollar bill so these are

all things that i highly recommend

taking care of medical bills that maybe

had not been paid and then beyond that

um you know i made notes of anything

else here i actually had to add another


my case my sister was in a position

where she actually needed to get her own


and my parents came to an agreement

where they would pay for her car

so with this being said i wanted to get

something affordable but decent

and i ended up finding her a ford

explorer 2005 with 140 000 miles on it

for about 2 600 bucks

i also highly recommend if you are in a

situation where maybe you're even going

to sell their existing car

get them a replacement car that when you

do do that just 100 percent make sure if

you're buying something a little bit

older or

less you know less expensive than say a

new car or a leased car

that you do have it inspected by someone

other than

the company selling you the car the

dealership selling you the car and that

way you're not getting into something

where you're gonna have to owe more

money for repairs or other surprises

that could creep up around the corner

some of the other things that i had to

get were a dumpster in this case i have

a dumpster coming to their home

so we can remove all the old things that

are there i decided to switch their car

insurance to

a company progressive which i'm familiar

with because that was my own insurance


they had their own car insurance and i

decided to move

off of that company and switch over to

my own another thing that i did is as i

went through all these

papers and documents and everything i

basically organized everything by

category so if i had

gas bills i would make a folder for you

know gas documents or the gas company


electric bills i'd have another one for

receipts anything that i purchased

anything for

medical for my mother medical for my

father i would literally make folders

for all these different things

and if you go on amazon you can actually

get um

it's basically like 15 bucks you could

get a little tray

in fact i have it here but it's not

completely organized yet so i'm not

going to show it but

it's basically 15 bucks it's just a

little metal holder tray that you can


and you can pick up and easily move

around or you could get a nice filing


and just have somewhere that you can

keep all these files and store them

so you if you ever need to reference

anything you have that in my case

i wanted to think about anything that i

was going to be moving for my parents

and in this case

things become quite limited so they

really only were bringing a few things a

bed frame a mattress

few bureaus they had like three of them

that they wanted to keep which will fit

in the room that they're moving into

and then we were basically moving

clothes and that's it like they're not

taking anything else

so we had to really think almost like a

minimalist as to what was coming with

them and what's going to be

coming along for this entire journey and

they had an older bed frame so i

actually decided to order a bed frame

have it sent to the new place that

they're going to be living in

and i can go assemble it ahead of time

so that when they move

all we're going to have to do is set up

the mattress and they'll be basically

good to go

to start sleeping there the only other

thing i could think of would be like end

tables you know my case my parents had

very old end tables

that we probably will replace but other

than that

there wasn't really a whole lot that

they needed to bring beyond clothes

because everything else is going to be

taken care of for them in terms of the

house itself

obviously now you're at a point where

you need to think about

selling their old home right like what

do you do in my case i purchased my

first home that i live in now but i had

never sold a home

i had done a lot of repairs around my

own house so i had a pretty good idea of

what needed to be done

but this was another really important

thing that you you really want to think

about when it comes to

the next steps they've moved out in this

case you now have this

empty home that you can just come in and

figure out okay what are the next steps

so i can get this house sold so the

first thing i did was i wanted to

determine you know how much is

left in terms of principal payments on

the mortgage and in this case

my parents were actually in a really

good scenario where if we do

sell the house similar homes in the area

for this particular townhome we're

selling between 250

and 320 000. i would just do your due

diligence and kind of look

at other similar area homes and see what

the median price range is

and that will give you some idea in

addition to also speaking with a real

estate agent now in my case they lived

in one of these communities where

they have a real estate agent that deals

with all these townhome communities and


so i just went to her had her come by

review the property while i was there

and just get an idea of everything that

needs to be done before this so the

first thing is obviously getting rid of

all that trash

i already talked about getting a

dumpster i'm getting the biggest one

that you can get

and we're just gonna throw away pretty

much everything that they're not taking

with them which is

probably about 90 percent of what's

there the next thing was hiring a moving

company or

a getting a family member that has a

truck and luckily since we're not moving

a whole lot and most things are getting

thrown away

i do recommend just finding someone

that's like a close family member that

has a larger truck

where you could just load these things

in and ultimately make

one to two trips so it saves you a lot

of time and money as opposed to hiring a

moving company

the next thing was figuring out what is

it that needs to be fixed in the home so

i had a bunch of electrical issues there

were like light fixtures that were old

and dated didn't have like covers on


um bulbs that were blown out electrical

outlets that didn't work

all of these things i highly recommend

just having a professional electrician

come in

and basically going through all this

stuff and determining what's wrong

we had to replace probably about four

outlets three different light fixtures

one of the house fans like didn't have

like a working pull string

there were cabinets in the house also

that had broken hinges

and of course there was areas that

needed even more attention

in this case our upstairs flooring in

the house was in pretty rough shape in

terms of

carpets they really needed to be ripped

out and of course

once i had the dumpster in there i could

throw everything away get the

get the carpets done and ultimately not

have to deal with people being there

while all this is happening as well as

all the furniture

being in the way or being something that

i had to put back after the fact

the other thing was obviously paint

right if you had areas that need to be


i would hire a professional painter get

a quote for all the different rooms

if there was paint that was in good

condition what you could potentially do

is have some of that paint removed from

the drywall

and you know basically a piece of the

drywall with the paint on it

have them take that to a local paint

store they could scan

and kind of look at the color of that

paint and ultimately figure out what

that color is so that way you could go

around and have someone just patch holes

fix the paint as is without necessarily

repainting entire rooms and spending

lots of money to do

tons and tons of fresh paint of course

this really depends

you definitely want to make sure you've

got some more neutral colors because

that's what's

going to ultimately help the place sell

a little bit easier versus like

more complex like darker colors the

other thing to look at was

plumbing and septic you know making sure

like did the toilets work are

you know is everything like up to date

in terms of code um

are all these things taken care of and

you have to think about if a home

inspector comes in

are they going to notice these things

and and pick on them before

you know the sale of the house so if you

get all this stuff taken care of i mean

i found out like one of the toilet seats

like was broken where the screws attach

on the back

so it may be small right but i had to

order a new toilet seat because that's

something that clearly

someone will find during home inspection

the other thing is i highly recommend

saving all the receipts from everything

that's being done in the home

so all this work you want to make sure

you save receipts

and determine when you go to work with

an accountant on taxes

that you make sure that if there's any

tax implementations

on the sale of the house that all of

this is kind of wrapped together

um now that pretty much concludes it

from the house side of things

the other thing that i did and this kind

of wraps back into the finances and the

debt was determining

all of their monthly expenses so for me

i really didn't have like a full


in in this case of what my parents owed

on everything but the most basics of

things would be

internet tv you know in this case they

were using comcast

they had property insurance on the home

they were paying a gas bill

they obviously paid the mortgage which i

didn't have here

they pay a condo fee which includes some

basic things like

maintenance and care they were also

paying for food every month which now

would not become a non-expense

and then electric electricity for the

house as well so

beyond that it's really just figuring

out you know what are some of the other

things that they could have been paying

for does

your parents have a subscription to

amazon kindle right

and figuring out all these things i

found out my mother had a subscription

to sirius radio

and this was something that like she

just didn't use and they were paying

like 10

or 15 a month for it so these were

things that i had to add to my list to

call them on her behalf and go and just

cancel and get rid of

because it was literally a waste of

money the final things when coming in

all this was looking at investments

so what i did is i went through and i

looked at all the investments and in

this case

they were working with an investment

person that had basically taken their

money and

invested it they would earn a percentage

on any of the investments that they made

and once i provided to them the power of

attorney documents

i was able to do the same thing where i

could come in and basically figure out

what they had

so in this case my parents had a couple

of annuities which are a form of a

savings account

they had some stocks that were being

invested my mother had a 401k from her

old job that she had rolled over

and then i had to check through all

their bank and checking and savings


as well as i wanted to speak with


financial person and get feedback on how

all these investments were being managed

another thing that you should never

really go into this stuff and think that

it's going to be like 100

a-okay would be to get a second opinion

because you don't know

if you're coming into this for the first

time and you don't really know this

financial person

it might be worthwhile to go and speak

with someone else from another financial


and give them documentation about

everything that you have to figure out

you know

was were these accounts being managed

were they making the best investments in

terms of what they could have been doing

was this stuff really being paid

attention to and in my case i found out

that the person working on it i don't

think was doing any harm

but wasn't being very aggressive and my

parents of course were not very involved

in the way that the accounts and the

money was being managed so was there

opportunity to make more on those

investments absolutely there was

so i actually went and met with a

representative another independent agent

from edward jones

and found out that hey there is more

opportunity of things that we could be

doing and paying attention to

and i'm actually going to be moving all

their assets to a different financial

person and basically starting from


now in this case i'm not taking any of

the money but what i was doing is

setting my mother up for a situation

where she'd be more prepared as well as

my father

and both me and my sister hopefully

having some money left over

when the time comes that they both pass

away and there's a will

you know we basically can take over from

all this and have the opportunity to


keep some of this money for ourselves so

that we can you know

use that in our own lives the last thing

i had to check into was

the car situation right so they have one

car they have two cars

and really looking into car insurance

finding out how much they were paying

for insurance

what's owed do they have a car loan how

much is left on that car

loan and all this built in right so

again as you build out all this this is

kind of

going to be your high level overview and

of course you're going to have a lot

more notes in here you could come in

here and basically

do something like this and say okay this

is you know xyz

nursing home this is what they cost i

toured them you could add lots of notes

and this is going to be a way for you to

keep track of that

but as you move forward i highly highly

recommend meeting a task list

so this is what i ended up doing um once

i kind of had that high level overview i

had made lots of notes of like what's

going on and figuring out where numbers

were at

here was where i really needed to figure

out like what is it that i actually need

to work on and how can i keep this


so i broke this down very simply you can

see i have a base level category of kind

of the task i need to go for

whether or not the task was completed or

whatever the bill was hasn't been paid

how much is owed on that bill have i

acquired power of attorney or provided

it for that

that particular institution um do i have

permission to talk to that company or

are they

awaiting a document a fax whatever it is

do i have to mail them something

do they have an online account there

were many cases where

many of the accounts i had for my

parents they just never had set up

online accounts they were making manual

payments over the phone

things like that so this is very very

important if you wanted to be able to go

and set this up for them you could

manage some of this

and potentially do it without even

providing the power of attorney

and at least that way you'd have access

to it so you don't have to sit there

with like your mother or father over the

phone being like

yes they have permission and just

draining tons of hours of time

the other thing was determining for the

bills that they do have

are they on auto pay and this could

include both debt and expenses

i found out that many things like for

example the water bill was something

that only comes in quarterly

and whenever that comes in my mother

would have to manually write a check and

mail that in

and when i called the water company to

find out hey are they late

of course yes they were late because

they hadn't paid that and it was just

one of many many things that she was

dealing with and not being able to take

care of it which is why obviously i had

to come in

to do all this in the first place the

other thing was making notes

on behalf of anything that i was working

on so let's kind of go through this and

see how i broke it down

so the first thing was anything like

tolls they owed

car bills excise tax anything owed to

the city the next thing was medical

bills any medical groups just anything

medical in general i removed all the

names and information

but i had a bunch of little tiny like 15

30 like all these little medical bills


some of which maybe had already been

paid and we just had receipts left


in documents but in a lot of cases there

were some bills that were just very

recent that hadn't been paid yet

that i wanted to go through and make

sure we're covered the next thing was

all the debts so in this case they had

a hearing aid they had a mortgage they

had multiple credit cards personal loans

and even

a consolidation loan so i made notes of

which ones were paid

which ones i had um power of attorney

access to

and which ones i still had to like say

mail or fax something in in order to get

access to

i would also know whether or not i could

log into an online account so for


with discover card i was able to for

example set up an online account and


my mother's password make sure i could

get into all that stuff and i was easily

able to go in and

you know get access so i could make

payments and see transactions

and see everything that was going on the

other thing was any banking right i

don't have any notes here

under my category but this could be

maybe if they have multiple checking

accounts or savings accounts

in my case my mother had a savings

account at one institution and a savings

account at another

so we actually went and closed out one

of those savings account

got a bank check and then deposited it

into the other bank

so these are things that you just want

to look out for and make sure you have

taken care of

beyond that it was all the regular

expenses as i've gone over they had some

lingering things like

amazon kindle siriusxm they were paying

for an onstar subscription

and then it's all the other basic things

that you look at as well as you have a

car loan and auto insurance

um i would make notes as you can see i

left here as an example i found out

their annual renewal was actually due in

about 10 days from the time i called

so i figured what better what better

time to actually switch them to a new


and maybe get them a better rate or

discount over the provider that they

were using

beyond that it was figuring out a list

of what's needed for the sale of the


we need to get a dumpster get carpets

replaced get the rooms painted get the

electric work done get their cabinets


and this could obviously add up to quite

a bit depending on what you need to do

in the house

and then i also had kind of my main

to-do list so really this was

additional things that i needed to do so

this could be calling my cpa about doing


calling the carpet company to schedule

the appointment so i know when they're

coming to install the carpets calling

the medical office calling another

medical office

we decided to look into another phone

company about switching their phones


both my sister and my mother had a very

old phone that was like due for an


i you know had to call the insurance

company for the car

i had to buy my sister a new car that

was a whole other process right

all these different things making sure

bills are up to date and all these

different things you could use this

as an example just to mark down what's

being completed and what you still need

to work on

so anyway i have been working on all

this for literally the last three weeks

and i thought i'd make this video


i know for many of you out there you

might be dealing with a circumstance


your parents just might be getting older

you could be dealing with someone in

your family who has dementia

whatever it is and i wanted to create

this because i think for a lot of people

when they hit this point in their lives

and they have to come in and take over

for this

um it's going to be very stressful and

that's definitely how i felt luckily i

was in a position because of the fact

that i'm self-employed

i actually was able to literally stop

doing any of my work

i didn't have to answer to a boss and i

actually went and just did all this


within a span of about three weeks i

literally called every single one of

these institutions

i organized probably hundreds if not god

knows how many documents

and just went through and completed as

much of this as possible in the quickest

span that i could

and in my case i was in a time crunch

because me and my wife

have our first baby on the way at the

end of april so i was like i need to get

this done now i didn't want to be in a

circumstance where

i could not take care of this now in

your case if you are working a full-time


obviously it would just be kind of

chipping away at these things a little

bit at a time right and utilizing that

lunch break

to the very best of your ability because

as you know most companies are going to

be open during

like that nine to five hour so you're

going to want to take advantage of that

the best way that you can

every single day chipping away at all

the things that you might need to do if

you are taking over in a circumstance

like this

so anyway i know that this isn't like

the normal video that i might produce

here on my channel

but i thought i would do this again

because i just realized

for really most people at some point in

your life you're probably gonna run into

something like this whether or not it's

with a grandparent or a parent

and you're gonna have to take over for

someone that no longer can do it and

that's what i had to do

and i thought this would be helpful for

you guys if you have any questions let

me know

below in the description i'll leave a

link to both of these documents and if

you want to make a copy just go in here

and hit

file make a copy and this will copy it

into your own google drive

and you can kind of take over and go

from there anyway if you enjoyed this


feel free to throw me a thumbs up don't

forget to subscribe to the channel

and again thank you so much for watching

and for those of you who might be

dealing with some of this stuff with

your parents i totally relate

and i wish you all the best of luck