When is it time to break up with someone you love reddit
What’s the Most Real Relationship Advice You Can Give? (Dating Reddit Stories r/AskReddit)
what's the most real relationship advice
you can give learning how to be bored
together as important you don't have to
be on the go doing stuff and planning
stuff and being fun and exciting all the
time it's okay to just sit around and
not do anything and not talk to each
other it's not unhealthy
I promise in an ideal relationship the
contributions are 60-40 we're both
partners are the ones trying to give 60%
my mom asked an elderly couple who had
been married for decades what their
secret was they said that they act as if
being nice to each other is a
competition that has always stuck with
me one don't expect the other person to
be able to read your mind to be a team
not opponents three everybody farts at
some point don't lose yourself as an
individual in a relationship when you
disagree remember that you are the same
team you're supposed to fight a problem
not the other person this is such an
awesome way of putting that concept
always be mindful and thoughtful to that
person's love map like they might need a
quick text every morning when you get to
work letting them know you're safe make
zero sense to you but knowing it's
something small and means the world to
them well why the heck not they might
get stressed out and you're helping to
clean the house for when they've
finished work might mean more to them
than someone else you've been with who
wanted flowers to show love know what it
is that your partner loves and makes
them feel loved too it's fine to not
always want to spend 100% of your time
with your spouse not every moment of
every day is going to be bliss and
sometimes it really takes some effort I
love my wife to bits but there are some
days when I would just like to do things
by myself
it doesn't mean our relationship isn't
great but it can be really refreshing to
just take a stroll around a shopping
center or go and get some food alone
with something this 100 percent my
spouse goes weekly to a pathfinder game
that's his alone time I occasionally go
to a punk show we'll have a beer W my
friends it can be even simpler
I will go read a book in the other room
and get
my alone time he likes to cook so heck
start up in the kitchen and I stay away
while he listens to his music everyone
needs alone time there's a reason it's
called the honeymoon phase and
eventually you won't have as much to
talk about other than how the day went
or might not always feel those
butterflies in your stomach when you
think about them that's when it becomes
a test in the relationship and you both
have to work on it to make it work you
will get into fights but learn to get
over there more I doubt it'll last
resentment can kill feelings for someone
you trade butterflies for familiarity
excitement for comfort listen to them
communicate with them compromise
sometimes duck them regularly to
elaborate on compromise it doesn't
always mean something we are both enjoy
at times it will very likely mean today
we do something my partner likes and
that I sparingly tolerate but tomorrow
that reverses but your spouse isn't
going to be perfect you're not going to
be perfect there will be mistakes and
misunderstandings what really matters in
a relationship is not being perfect but
how you handle the imperfections of
yourself and your spouse in a respectful
reasonable way this is the best comment
here and the ones about communication
guy here this probably sounds simple but
here's what I've learned know yourself
where you're at in life if you are in a
shitstorm legal crap money crap drugs
and alcohol crap legal crap you're
probably not ready for anything serious
clean up your act first be honest no
matter how freaked up crap is if you
want to move forward in a serious way
all the cards got to be on the table
take it slow get to know each other but
in the end no secrets there is some crap
that is nobody's business but I ain't
talking about that know her what she's
been through and what she wants out of
life you both need to be pretty much on
mode you need to be heading for the same
thing kids buy a house or gypsy life
don't matter
keep a sharp eye on things you need to
make sure she's doing okay and let her
know you're doing okay but same with her
to you after that it's just dodging
stupid
soft wisdom here no secrets and be on
board with each other's plan is big
relationships are work they aren't
always fun you won't always be madly in
love and you can't put them on a shelf
and ignore them but they shouldn't be
all work sometimes you have to spend
years with shitty people to realize what
you deserve it was never a waste you
needed the experience to figure out what
works best for you or what to avoid
you'll never forget your exes they were
there for a reason
conversely sometimes you need to spend
years in bad relationships with good
people before you realize that you're
being a shitty person sometimes it's
hard to see and harder to admit intimacy
is way more important than most people
realize like I've told my wife yeah sure
there's lust involved there's also
interest in making your partner feel
good as well if that interest isn't
there your partner might as well be a
sex toy for all they mean to you
you are never obliged to stay in a
relationship doesn't frickin matter what
someone has threatened if you aren't
happy flick em , if you aren't happy
flick em and if that doesn't help leave
em communication is the foundation upon
which everything else is built they say
don't go to bed angry not because anger
does something while you're sleeping but
because it means you didn't communicate
properly and you're giving up on trying
become actively listen do not dismiss
your partner's statements assume good
faith
it's you and me versus the problem not
me versus you if something's bugging you
talk to your so about it if you feel in
rage about something wait until you're
well-fed
well-rested with warm extremities before
talking about it but talk about it at
the first opportunity calmly rationally
and honestly keep the discussion limited
to that one narrow thing if something's
bugging your so hear them out never
think well I'm not bothered by that so
it's not a problem
think my sow is bothered by this and
that's a problem if you think the
concern is unreasonable frame the
discussion is solving the problem of
your so is being unhappy the worst
fights and arguments tap
over trivial things because it's not the
trivial thing that's actually causing
the problem it's probably a series of
things or a general lack of satisfaction
and the toothpaste cap being left off as
just the instigator of the fight if you
communicate often and openly these
things will not Fester
they won't pile up and you won't get
into such fights when someone shows you
who they are believe them if they're
mean if they're vindictive if they use
you if they show you that they don't
really care about you believe them if
they make you feel inadequate on edge
scared nervous unworthy or like a
disappointment believe them if they're
entitled narcissistic sociopathic
manipulative or unfair believe them
life isn't a movie you can fix people
who don't want to be fixed more often
than not they just are who they are so
take off the rose-colored glasses and
stop thinking love will find a way if it
isn't working change it don't spend your
precious time lamenting over a person
who wouldn't genuinely lament over you
this sounds bleak I know but
relationships and love are supposed to
be the most beautiful thing in the
universe if your relationship is not
improving your quality of life on the
aggregate you need to seriously reassess
what you want in life because you
deserve better you only get so much time
to find people in your life that make it
worth living don't get caught up on
people who will make you wish to never
live it yes
y'all gotta make sure you're choosing
them as advertised not falling in love
with their potential I don't think your
prospective is bleak at all I think it's
balanced and disillusioned in related
vernacular
choosing to believe who someone is is a
great example of living life on life's
terms
it's not always easy but it gets you out
of a lot of unnecessary wrestling
matches if you go into a marriage
long-term commitment with the impression
that you will be happy all the time and
your life will only change for the
better you are absolutely wrong be
realistic that there will be days you
won't be able to stand each other your
lives may absolutely hit rough patches
and you will not agree on how why that
situation occurred or even how to get
out of it
the like go unhallowed it together if
you can agree on food sleep soundly
compromise on activities and do your own
thing one of the days and not get mad at
each other you stand a good chance of
lasting a while I love my boyfriend to
bits and miss him a lot we don't live
together yet but boy do I like sleeping
on my own in bed sometimes space is
healthy just because you're in a
relationship doesn't mean you have to
live in each other's pockets agreed I
love my boyfriend but I also love
sleeping in my own bed sometimes you
don't need to be in one don't light
yourself on fire to keep others warm
love is a choice not a feeling not
talking about sexuality here the
butterflies go away eventually it's
inevitable but you can choose to be
committed anyway and build something
beautiful together
conversely attraction is a feeling not a
choice you cannot negotiate someone into
being into you if they aren't you have
to be honest with them especially when
it's hard to do me and my boyfriend get
uncomfortably real with each other
sometimes and something we have both
learned is to listen to criticism
without getting defensive and when
giving criticism we don't attack each
other no matter how angry or sad we are
at each other I've had him call me out
for certain behaviors that nobody has
ever called me out on and I've done the
same for him we're both better people
for it because when we get it all out on
the table we have no choice but to work
on ourselves you have been visited by
the smiley dojo you will have happiness
in your future but only if you comment
nice smile Papa I hope you enjoyed the
video and find your significant other to
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either way have a great day you
magnificent people
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