it

Q & A- How To Say No To Family When They Ask For Money

to loan your family member money or not

that is the question I'm Brittany Castro

certified financial planner founder and

CEO of financially wise women and

welcome to financially wise living

recently we have one of our very own

financially wise women right in asking

this

dear Brittney I find your blog and

videos super informative and they really

helped me to be conscientious about my

spending habits and my attitude

regarding money I find that I am neither

a spender nor a saver I don't have an

extravagant lifestyle and I'm not a

Shopaholic by any means but I do enjoy

good quality food so I buy that in bulk

and most of my money goes to grocery

shopping I have a modest salary and I

live in New York my issue is this I'm 37

years old I have a retirement plan but I

have no real savings

I have typical expenses just like

everybody else but I also have the

significant other and family members who

are always in my wallet

they all have jobs probably earning much

more than me truthfully yet have

terrible spending habits and I end up

paying the price for this naturally this

is my own fault I feel guilty saying no

I give without hostility but it doesn't

sit well with me in my own private spot

I've had the I'm cutting you off

meltdowns tried to explain myself

clearly and rationally yet somehow I

find the pattern repeating itself do you

have any advice on how to feel good

about not helping someone you love out I

really appreciate all your insight in

wish you continued success thank you so

much first of all thank you so much for

writing in and asking this question

because this is something that most

individuals face when it comes to

planning out their financial future and

while there is no clear-cut answer as to

how you should say no or do you say no

to your family members or friends when

they ask you for money there are some

guidelines

want to share with you to help you

better handle this situation moving

forward the first guideline I want to

share is that you should never feel

guilty or bad about saying no to your

friends and family members when it comes

to money and being selfish with your

financial future is actually a good

thing now I know this word selfish does

have negative outlook in our economy and

society but the reality is when you're

taking care of yourself first

financially and being selfish there it's

gonna help you be more financially wise

of course long-term and sustain your

financial goals over time and it

actually can help those who are asking

you for money out too because if they

keep asking you for money and you keep

giving it to them they're not really

taking control or ownership of their own

financial challenges and they're simply

relying you relying on you to always

bail them out and that doesn't do them

any good either so that's the first

guideline you don't have to feel guilty

or bad about saying net guideline is to

have a clear vision about what you want

you talked about saving money and you

want to save money but you need to gain

more clarity here what do you want to

save money for why do you want to save

money the more Clary you have with these

things with your goals with your vision

the more confident you'll be honoring

those choices and say no when random

people or expenses come up that might

derail you from that plan and not vision

the more clarity the more confidence you

can amass tip I have is be gentle with

yourself you know you're really gonna

embark on changing a habit changing a

behavior and it might not be overnight

but taking care of yourself and honoring

your own financial path is very

honorable and be gentle with yourself

along the way and if you do have them

help downs or if you do have the

times where we don't feel so good about

it you know just acknowledge that you're

working on it your work in progress and

you're working towards getting for that

space where you're saying thank you so

much for asking this question please let

us know on Facebook how do you handle

family members who ask you for money

we'd love to hear from you and that way

we can support one another on our

financial journey and if you want even

more free tips and tools to help you on

your financial journey then come on over

to financially wise wyndcomm and

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to this lifelong journey of feeling that

financial empowerment and excitement you

really can live a life you love using

your money and you deserve it

thank you so much for watching I'll see

you next week for another episode of

financially wise