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Dating older men | age gaps in relationships

what's good youtube this video is going

to be about dating older men

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now onto this topic women often ask me

about what i think about them dating

older men

in speaking to so many women you know

thousands a year

i can tell you that i haven't noticed

the pattern in the reviews from dating

older men that is favorable to that idea

there are a lot of assumptions that

women are making about older men that

aren't necessarily true and that lead to

as much hurt pain and trauma

and sometimes abuse as dating younger

men

i don't think that the age should be the

focus of who you date

but the character and the integrity the

person how they treat you that should

always be the focus

to strategize based on one metric or

another or one demographical figure or

another

it's counter-intuitive and it doesn't

normally work

oftentimes women assume that an older

man would be more reliable

this isn't always true at all

put simply young fools grow up to be old

fools

everybody doesn't get wiser with time

gray hairs doesn't make a person more

trustworthy

more capable and give them more

integrity

than black hairs or brown hairs or

blonde hairs

the young aren't always less equipped

than the old unfortunately

we all like to think that there's a bit

of growth that's had that's happened

over the years and that

a guy in his 40s or 50s or 60s somehow

or another

knows what he wants more often and he's

more reliable because of it

but a lot of times these guys are coming

from bad relationships

20-year marriages 15-year marriages or

relationships where

they've either had a great time cheating

on their wives or they've had a terrible

time getting cheated on

or they've had an abusive time or toxic

relationship

right you you are only as good as the

bulk of your experiences

we are the sum total of our experiences

if an older man has been

married but the relationship was trash

he didn't certainly learn how to be a

great

uh partner he's gonna bring his trash to

the next relationship until he gets

rehabilitated

whether or not you should be the person

who rehabilitates someone 20 years older

than you is beyond me

gray hair on a guy's balls does not mean

he's going to treat you any better

in fact oftentimes older guys are more

certain than younger guys that a woman

has no place in their heart

having been married or dating for

decades they've concluded that a woman's

place is in their bedroom

they've concluded that the closest a

woman should get to them is arm's length

and so when you're trying to develop

love and build and

evolve into this greater bigger picture

this guy is just trying to avoid it all

because he's been there and done that

and for him it wasn't a good experience

and so now he's avoiding responsibility

and connection at all costs

or he offers that to you because he's

learned how to finesse women in all his

years dating but he still doesn't want

to give you anything so his actions

never match his words

those who've been married and had bad

divorces especially

you know custody battles and cheating

wives or have been cheating husbands

they come into these relationships with

younger women who think and assume

wisdom knowledge understanding and they

give them the same [ __ ] that a young man

with more energy would have given them

nothing

they're screwing like dogs trying to

catch up for all the years they spent in

a relationship

or relationship hell as they like to

call it many times

they're trying to catch up with their 20

year old self they got 10 or 15 years of

banging random women to do before they

decide to settle down again

in fact they're so happy to have their

own space they really don't want a woman

putting candles and [ __ ] around their

house and

flowers and feminizing their apartments

again character is something that

doesn't necessarily grow with age

it can it's not a given just yesterday

my co-workers family member had some

sweet old ladies come to their garage

sale

and still a bunch of [ __ ] one distracted

and the other one

stuffed her giant ass old lady purse

i say all that to say gray hair and

wrinkles don't always signify

integrity or trustworthiness or

responsibility

some people are single because they

deserve to be single because they [ __ ]

up relationships

to assume integrity where you've seen

none is a dangerous assumption to make

and some of these older guys aren't as

tired as you assume of the games

many are committed to the games i don't

say this to [ __ ] on older guys i don't

say this to

stop people from even considering older

guys but i'm just telling you that i

have not noticed the pattern of older

man being

that much more reliable sometimes even

if it's not about games or

or sowing their wild oats they come with

their own baggage

right years of alcoholism uh years of

this type of trauma

or or this type of issue that they've

been having right people

find themselves to be single in old age

for one reason or another

it's not always bad or malicious or

toxic or whatever negative thing that

you might describe it as

but it's it's the fact that they have

some lessons that they hadn't learned

before they entered their last

relationship

and that's why they're still single we

all have adjustments to make we all have

to learn lessons

that doesn't make us bad it doesn't make

us a bad investment

but us not learning from those uh

scenarios in those situations does

a lot of times single women who are

mature in age made bad decisions in

their youth

right the hope is that they've evolved

from those decisions

but the fear of many men is that older

women who are single

have a lot more baggage because they

have a multitude of experiences that

can't be taken back

and it's also believed that most people

aren't really doing the work

psychologically to fix themselves or to

heal themselves

in the same way older men have that same

amount of baggage sometimes

people who have experienced more

sometimes are carrying more

and if they haven't properly managed

their mental health they could actually

be a more

toxic more dangerous resource for love

so it shouldn't be assumed that just

because a guy is older

he must have it all together his

finances might be intact

being single and being older he said he

kind of has the best of both worlds

but outside of that um you can't assume

anything

just because somebody is up in age or

older than you

so assume nothing judge a man based on

how he treats you not what age he is not

what race he is

not how he looks or whatever else you

might judge a man on

age is nothing but a number and that

statement is absolutely positively true

that's not to say you should keep going

up and up and up

but it is to say that you shouldn't give

special consideration well without the

evidence

of the benefit that you seek anyway

that's all i got for now please go

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