Love After Loss (After Death Of Partner)

hi everyone I'm Apollonia lengthy I am

your dating and relationship coach

founder of Apollonia Ponte comm I am

your coach to go confidently in the

direction that you desire and attract

that woman that you desire as well and

in this video we are going to talk about

love after loss and in this video we're

going to talk about finding love after

loss I know this is a very hard topic to

cover and if you are someone that is

either a widow or lost someone in your

life my heart goes out to you because I

understand the pain and I wanted to do a

video like this because of the fact that

there's a lot of men that have reached

out to me that have been widows and

they're trying to get out into the

dating field again and I wanted to help

you guys understand the emotions that

you're gonna go through and also what

you should do to really get back in

there and find love again now losing

someone in your life is not easy by any

means and it's probably one of the

things in the life that will never

really understand the reasons of why we

specifically have to lose someone that

we love and also to if we will ever see

them again

right and this is the most beautiful

thing about life is the only thing that

we have to enjoy is our present moment

because if we enjoy our present moment

we are in the realness of the love with

that person and I know that speaks to

you because if you are a widow or

someone that you experienced was sick in

your life you enjoyed that present

moment with them before they were gone

hopefully and with that said that eludes

me into your right now your present

moment and finding out who you are again

redefining your identity depending on

how you lost this person because a lot

of times it could be quick and that is

like a shock to our systems and also to

sometimes it can be a prolonged thing

because someone got sick take care of

them things like that and you still you

lose some type of identity within you

because you're giving a lot during this

process and the biggest thing to you is

just to take your time loving after loss

is not meant to be so easy right loving

after loss is meant for someone to

identify and to take their time

identify who they are again find who

they are again and also understand that

taking your time is going to be

significant in this process and it

doesn't matter how old or how young you

are and literate and and and also to

when you start dating and there's going

to be a storm of emotions that happen

you're going to feel guilt you're going

to feel even a little bit of displeasure

and you're going to go back and forth

and thinking like am i doing something


because especially with men that I've

coached and I've helped them through

this they've been married for example

I'm thinking of one client he was

married for 23 years and his wife was

terminally ill from cancer and she said

like I want you to love someone else


she told him specifically that she wants

him to find a woman that will love him

like she did again because he deserves

that and he found a woman that really

loved him but he went through a lot of

emotions he went through the feeling of

guilt and one of the biggest things here

is the feeling of guilt of like cheating

basically because you're so used to this

23 year of marriage and it's not like

you formally got a divorce you formally

broke up and it was not like the both of

you choose to break up the both of you

choose nothing the life had a choice not

you and this is a build of emotions that

will come to you and I'm not saying that

to kind of get you away from dating not

at all but I'm saying this because the

more clarity that you have when you're

getting into dating again after love I

mean after loss and finding love the

more honorable you can show up in these

moments because you're going to know

okay I remember watching this video

what applet is that dang she was right I

know this man because I've done this and

I've worked with so many men through

this so this is some emotions that

you're going to have to maybe go through

and and it's okay don't be so shameful

don't be so guilty on yourself if you're

a man that has gone through this I

really encourage you to just comment

below I want to hear from you and I want

you to kind of share some other things

that possibly you went through to help

men that are watching on this channel

out right now I encourage you to do that

and if you do thank you now I'm gonna

give you some tips about finding love

again after lost all right so tip number

one is there's it's funny because a lot

of these men want to try online dating


and even though you know guys know I'm a

big advocate for online dating even

though you got to be careful with online

dating I do think that it's pacing

yourself I wouldn't really encourage you

just to jump into online dating because

if you were in a marriage for twenty

thirty forty years online dating is like

I mean giving me a new camera and I have

no idea what I'm doing with a camera I

mean gosh it's like the worst thing for

me you know like when imagine like

something that you are so you just don't

know how to do because it's just

something you've never done before right

you got to learn it again you got to

understand and then dating is just a

whole nother storm so what I would

suggest for tip number one is for you to

go out there be active in the community

go out there and meet friends become a

part of a custom type of club and

interact with people right interact with

people share your story because there's

a lot of people that are actively and

active in the community that are open

about being widows or losing someone in

their life that they can identify and

this can be for a breakup as well if

you've lost someone after a ten-year

breakup this could help in two as well

these are for long-term relationships

I'm talking about here now another thing

into tip number and the next tip is I

want you to kind of not only like I said

find out who you are again but I want

you to do things that are gonna make you

feel good

whatever that is revamping your style

going out and working out trying new

things and like doing some right when

you revamp your style like as far as

communication classes speak public

speaking classes to get you to breathe

be able to be comfortable with you again

and I say public speaking classes

because I don't want you to it's not

meaning like I'm saying you got to stand

in front of a thousand people and talk

to them know what I am saying is this

helps you communicate from your throat

it helps you be more effective with your

communication and be clear and then also

too it gives you abundance of meeting

people that are in the same thing that

you're trying to do or trying to do the

same thing I should say as far as just

getting clear

on how to be outspoken how to speak up

or how to be that speaker that just can

communicate effectively and that is

something that you can choose to do or

choose not to do because there's a lot

of other things that you can do like go

to seminars I mean other people that are

in the like-minded community as you kind

of like tip number one and the last tip

that I want to share with you here is

not only to take your time but

understand that love can be difficult

right and we all know this but also too

that don't give up don't give up on love

because you lost someone because I can

guarantee you that there's so many

people that are out there that don't

want to move on because of this feeling

of guilt and this feeling of pain but

then there's also people out there that

are okay with not moving on because

they're in content and that I love so

much too

but if you're someone that really feels

in their heart that they want to find

love again

then I would suggest for you to not stop

to not give up on love and understand

that their partner wants you to love

again and if you're unclear of that use

this video as a sign because it probably

popped up in your feed or something that

you were supposed to watch today or your

partner delivered this to you

intentionally for you to watch so don't

give up on love because someone is out

there willing to love you again and I

encourage you from the bottom of my

heart to go after what it is that you

want and let go of the guilt and try to

heal the pain if you liked today's video

please give it a thumbs up and as always

I look forward to seeing you in the next

video remember you are always left